發酵與浮現

Photography

I Run

最近的一個拍攝自由工作令自己體會多了一點點自己的極限和限制。趕工的急切性可能是只一主要因素,我掌控着客人公司的一大部分工序排列,也正正就是這樣感覺到了自己”忽然”變得何其重要。最初想起也覺得什為漫長,還要夾著些未知原素在內,當時的 ”完工便是目標” 在末段這一整星期長長不眠夜中發酵。結果當客人看到了成品便何其開心,鬆了一口氣。

I Chok

回首多月以來的工作機會這算是時間最緊、最長,的確辛苦,還要比所有長工辛苦得很多。(幸好數剪接影片中的一句又一句的激勵真言令自己安落下去,得以堅持下去)

Hong Kong Island Oasis

我想: 像這般繼續下去做我的半個自由工作者可行嗎?  還是,怎樣可改變一下? 需要與商業標準(器材、人手、表達手法、平面設計、動畫…) 來看齊這個結我還沒打開之下、收支又失衡、獨狼的工作方式、自己能力、行業未來發展的焦慮等等,很多當初不會想的東西就是這樣浮現出來。

I jump

影片不再只是最初眼看輕易單純一段一分幾鐘而已的片段東西了,也不是近似我興趣以外的一件普通事了,背後的遠超越自用相片的後期調較。 可否為生賺到基本過活才是一大考驗。 我可不動用存款地、加上供養父母之下支持生活了8個月,對我而言已經不簡單了。 經濟能力便是生存能力,對吧?

反差

Photography

Love

曾有想過如果人類從不需要睡覺的生活會怎樣嘛? 可能會如同行屍般日日等另一日、另一小時、另一分鐘、下一秒。又或者其實時間變得還要實用,每天有更多時間工作(可怕),或妄想一下可擁有更多私人時間做你一直很想做的事。那麼睡覺便只是一種如毒般的行為。

Utpoia

確實在世的一切生物不可不休息,沒有休息人類可以死亡,沒有休息你我可以變得精神失常,沒有工作效率可言。心理正常的人也會不斷有異想,不是幻覺而是負面情緒的激增。

睡覺是人體作息不可多得的一環,而我在部分時間把它視作成人世的逃避 – 一處被避難所。受到不如意的事接受不來,一睡了之。 接受不了自己便放棄一回再算吧。以酗酒以作短暫解脫的朋友,大有人在。我把酒視作品賞之用,無論有多愁,它一定不可能喝多。

Up Down

最近的一系列自由工作夾撃之下,帶來了不少煩惱,不單單只是時間不夠用的普通因素。我在想如果人(不只是我)可不用睡可趕工那有多好呢。又有在想這樣辛苦的下一步是否一定可以平坦? 假如工作環境改變了,我是否可能沒這樣多猜想?一個又一個的沒完問題其實我跟本有大本個答案,我只是想可以有另一個可能嘛?

The Other You

現在剩下的我只有僅餘的一點點意志,完全日夜顛倒了的我也只好跟著水流再走走。

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今次打破常規以母語編寫,是完全有別於以往希望可以因共通語言走到更遠的地方。我一直在想香港人的故事有多少外地人會想明白呢,不如我寫給有緣人、寫給自己吧。

(To the English readers: It’s been my on my wishlist for a while that I somehow want to switch back to my language, to express in a way that’s more intuitive to me. It’d make more sense to myself and whoever the local lucky ones that stumble upon and may share thoughts and reflect.)

Impulse

Photography

Horse back

The air is fresher, the sun gives you tan, the wind gently brushes through your skin, the feeling of alive, the guaranteed front row seat of every spectacular views, the boosted energy and metabolism for the rest of the week. I remember how good it was when I spent most of my life in an office during the week and was only to able see the nature in my day offs. Maybe I just wanted to find peace, I wanted to escape, I wanted that serendipity. Now when I’m as free as I want to be, I found myself not as mentally motivated as I used to be. I have not seen this coming.

Family

My reaction to the early wake-up alarm, the actual morning breakfast (hardly any now) are among those sideline routines I miss the most. Do I still long for these outdoor journeys?

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Blue Heart

It’s the coolest thing to buy what’s hip, what’s stylish. Headphones, clothes, cellphones, watches, shoes, bags, jewelries, travel package, I’m guilty as charge on a few items just listed. My longtime chat friend told me recently, he said ‘do not live beyond your means’. It was a bit of a wake up call to myself after shopping here and there for the past 2 months.

Heaven

It’s such an irony when I look at some of my self-portrait, I discovered I’d been wearing the same hike ‘uniform’ for more than a year now. Even my shoes have shown serious wear on the sole. This is what needed to be replaced soon rather than a couple other new shirts which they would likely be hung than worn (mostly because of the warm weather here). A very typical of me.